I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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