piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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