Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize