That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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