we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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