He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
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Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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