No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i need some magic done to my vagina
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize