there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize