I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize