haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize