Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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