the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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