Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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