5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize