I met the friendliest cop last night
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize