I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize