I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
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its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
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I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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