I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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