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Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
pray to the hookup gods
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize