I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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