make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I understand Curling. That high.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize