i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize