i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
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she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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