You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize