Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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