feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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