She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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