i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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