I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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