They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
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Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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