I just cut my nipple shaving
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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