so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize