I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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