Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
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I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
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my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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