I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize