Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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