Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize