I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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