next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
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Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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