..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize