i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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