Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
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Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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