hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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