We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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