you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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