I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
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I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
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Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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