oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize