Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
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