GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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