Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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